“Look at the lengths men will go to find the golden-haired woman. They have fought duels over her beauty; they have fought wars. You see, every man remembers Eve. We are haunted by her. And somehow we believe that if we could find her, get her back, then we’d also recover with her our own lost masculinity.”

— Wild at Heart, John Eldredge

I read this the other night and thought: yeah. Women. Man, how many times have I fallen for someone thinking that I had found “The One” or “The answer to all my problems”. It can’t keep happening. But it does. Why can’t I just be content with having friends that are girls? When I’m not interested in anyone then I feel like I’m missing something. I feel the need to have a woman in my life to think about and worry about. I guess that’s healthy for a guy but I’m tired of getting hurt. Give it to God and let him take care of it I guess.

Just a quick post today to say Happy Birthday to FFS — the clan is 1 year old today! They’re doing really well, top of division 4 in the wireplay league. I’ve been watching their matches since they started out and know most of them pretty well. So well done guys, maybe next year you’ll be top of division 3!

Here’s a picture from one of there games a few weeks back against mm. I believe mm got owned.

“For after years of living in a cage, a lion no longer even believes it is a lion… and a man no longer believes he is a man.”

— John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

I guess this sums up how I feel at the moment. I read this book and something inside me just cries out to be wild. I remember when I used to go to the woods and climb trees, explore, have stick fights, build camps, swing on rope swings, burn things, jump over streams and the list goes on. I guess I just grew up and society tells us that we’re too old for playing in the woods — we should do something useful with our time. We put ourselves in a cage and then later wonder why we feel so depressed, like we’re going nowhere and so unsure of ourselves. I need Adventure and Risk! I can’t keep sitting here wasting my time and regretting it when the day is over. What have I achieved today? I went to the prayer meeting this morning and sure it was good, a great start, but that really is all I’ve done — the rest of the day was just a waste of time.

This weekend has been awesome! Had Marie-Claire round since Friday evening and we had so much fun. Friday night we went out to play pool with everyone from CU and that was great — somehow made it to the semi-finals of the tournament. Then Saturday spent the day in town and both of us bought new shoes. Saturday evening went to see Wallace and Gromit — Curse of the Were-Rabbit which I definitely recommend. After that we went to see a gig at the union — we saw The Columbos who are a band we have to design a website for as one of my projects this year. They were pretty good I thought, surfer type music was pretty cool. Then today we went to church and then out for lunch with everyone in the CU. It’s been so nice having company all the time because I realise now that I spend a lot of my time on my own — kinda a bit lonely now.

Well it’s been a few days since my last blog so I think it’s about time to post. Had a pretty uneventful few days, nothing really that exciting to say. Yesterday (which is part to blame for the lack of blog) Civilization 4 arrived. Crazy American spellings. It’s a great game, lots of improvements have been made since the last Civilisation game.

For those that don’t know, the Civilisation games allow you to run a civilisation of your choosing. Which for me yesterday was the English. You build cities which grow over time, armies to defend against war or go and start your own, research scientific advances which allows you to improve your cities and armies etc. The games take a long time to play — you start in 4000BC and work your way up to modern times and beyond. The game I played yesterday took 6 hours. It’s good fun though. One of the new things in this game is they’ve put religion in the game so I spent a lot of my time building Christian Missionaries and sending them into other civilisations’ territories to convert them. This got the Spanish annoyed at me because I had “Fallen under the influence of a heathen Religion” — I think they were Buddhist or something. Anyway they eventually started a war with me which they lost. Their musketeers and cannons weren’t much use against my Tanks and Machine gunners, although there were more than a few occasions where my tanks or helicopters were destroyed by guys on horseback… which I think is a little unrealistic.

Last day of 6th Form — 18th of May 2001.

6th Form was the greatest!

Church today was cool. Got to see lots of crazy Holy Spirit stuff — people with the shakes, falling over etc. I guess it’s just something that I don’t see that much and when I do see it now it’s even cooler! There’s a lot of new Christians around too and I like to think how much it must freak them out! God’s power is awesome though. I want to get used to seeing stuff like that again because it doesn’t happen enough!

I realised today that I have a bit of a problem with this blog. I’ve got at least 4 different groups of people who are likely to read it. There’s people from home, people from Uni, people from the school in Canada and people I know online. I don’t really know what to talk about. I can’t just gear it towards one group of people because then the others will lose interest. So I guess the only way around it is to vary what I talk about as much as possible to try and keep everyone interested.

Today has been rather uneventful and I really can’t share anything exciting with you. However I did make it into the top 10 of our new speedrun league on concspeed on our server. Pretty proud of that, ok I’m at the bottom but I really suck at conc maps so to see me in there at all is a real achievement!

Yeah that sadly really is all I have done today… Went to a few lectures, that kind of thing, but it has been pretty dull. Also got a bit pissed off with one of the guys in our World of Warcraft guild basically for getting us all killed a whole bunch of times in SFK but hey it was fun.

Came across Gretchen’s English Page today by clicking for a random blog. If you’ve never read the poem “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe that this guy is talking about then it’s worth a look. You can find it here.

On a separate note today is my computer free day. Note the my computer there because after all I am a computing student and need to use computers everyday so today I’m posting from University. When I started back at University this year I decided that I would have one day a week where my computer at home will stay off. That might not seem like such a big deal to many of you but I got to the point where I found myself turning the computer on first thing in the morning and then sitting there all day and finally turning it off at night. This is not good. Too much of anything is bad so I quit using my computer on Thursdays and I think it’s done me a hell of a lot of good.